|
Learn to Laugh 2/26/2018
People honestly need to have a sense of humor to get through
life. This is me just ranting but i find humor in anything
(sometimes dark humor) but honestly laughing is one of
the healthiest things for you. telling a good joke is a little
trickey though. a good joke can setup the mood and conversation
for the rest of the night or relationship.
0 Comments, 24 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
|
|
passion junk mail, spam, and scams 2/26/2018
I love this website as a fun place, but talk about jokes:
How about all of the lying messages, fakeprofiles, and
scams that we all receive here. They need their own name.
I am sure that most of you get more of it than I do, and I get
a lot. Vulgarity comes to my mind immediately, but there has got to be a better name for this. Does anyone
have a catchy name they want to share? No one has ...
2 Comments, 55 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
|
|
Looking for Love 2/17/2018
A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...
Looking for man with these qualifications: - won't beat me up - won't run away from - is great in bed. She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone
perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms
so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."
So ...
4 Comments, 109 Views,
27 Votes
,4.82 Score
|
|
Olympic Spirit 2/16/2018
Happy sporting husband brings Olympic medals home, and
proudly says to wife , "I'm getting a gold again
tonight ". She says "Go for the silver and come second for a change
"
1 Comments, 41 Views,
23 Votes
,5.23 Score
|
|
fmf threesomes 2/16/2018
Have you read the new book "FMF Threesomes ...by Sharon
Dick
1 Comments, 36 Views,
17 Votes
,4.54 Score
|
|
Is necessary to be an extrovert person in a first date? 2/15/2018
Many people think that to be extrovert o fanny is a good way
for impress your crush, I think it´s just about your personality.
Not its necessary make joks or yes? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
What do you think about this importan aspect? ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
13 Votes
,2.30 Score
|
|
Dumb Blond Men 2/12/2018
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did
you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's
for dry hair, and I've already wet mine." ----------------------- A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on
the envelope "DO NOT BEND." He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick
it up. ...
2 Comments, 57 Views,
16 Votes
,4.45 Score
|
|
cancer and trumpets 2/10/2018
one diseases asks to another "im a capricorn, what
r u?" <br><br>
..."cancer" says the other <br><br>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br><br>
some girls starts blowing air into a guys di*k during a bj
<br><br>
"what r u doing!" he yells <br><br> ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
10 Votes
|
|
Talking Pussy 2/10/2018
Do You Know How To Make a Pussy Talk ????? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
Put a Tongue In It !!!!!
1 Comments, 24 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
|
|
sex kitten vs. a bear 2/9/2018
Long time ago. I was having a relationship with someone
I shouldn't, so we were sneaking around. We were staying
at a friend's place in Colorado, very cool, rustic,
fireplaces, make-sure-the doors-are-locked because-there-are-bears
kind of place. We were sleeping in separate bedrooms, but
in the middle of the night I decide, very unusually for me,
to be naughty. So I pschye myself into ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
11 Votes
,1.30 Score
|
|
i need a eye patch 2/9/2018
I was doing missionary with my ex while in high school. We
were in the gym and I was so turned on I pulled out and blasted
in my own eye. I turned around because my girlfriend had
this terrified look of embarrassment on her face only to
stare into the angry face of her gym teacher while the spooge
dripped down my eye onto my lip. Yeah that was a great day....
1 Comments, 33 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
|
|
Birds and Bees 2/9/2018
A father asked his 10-year old if he knew about the birds
and the bees. <br><br>
“I don’t want to know, ” the said, bursting
into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” <br><br>
Confused the father asked what was wrong. <br><br>
The boy sobbed. “When I was six, I got the “there’s
no Easter Bunny speech. At seven, I got the “there’s ...
1 Comments, 51 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
|
|
Pussy fart 2/7/2018
What is a man's first thought while he's having
sex with who ever they're doing it with and hear her
pussy fart. Do you stay serious and keep going on. Laugh
and joke a little about it. Cause when I first heard it the
girl was embarrassed and I teased her about it
0 Comments, 20 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
|
|
Irish Priest at Confessional 2/2/2018
Father O'Reilly always gave Confession and Father
O'Malley would take the service. This went on for years
until one Sunday Father O'Reilly fell ill and could
not do the normal Sunday Confessional. Father O'Malley
being a total novice at confessional asked Father O'Reilly
what he should say. 'Don't Worry' said Father
O' Reilly I wll write down all the sins and ...
1 Comments, 65 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
|
|
Bath Night 1/31/2018
A couple living in a small Minnesota town take on an 18-year-old
girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the
woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom
as such but she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. <br><br>
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes
out to bowl, " the woman said. <br><br>
So the young girl ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
13 Votes
,5.66 Score
|
|
Girlfiends parents 1/29/2018
A young lad sees an ad in the paper for bike. He goes and has
a look. Its about 10 old but is in perfect condition.
The boy asks the seller how do you keep the crome so clean.
The seller says 'Always put vasoline on it before it
rains'. The boy buys the bike and is as pleased as punch.
That night he goes over to see his new girlfriend and meets
her parents for the first time. His ...
0 Comments, 95 Views,
17 Votes
,5.95 Score
|
|
Drunk Oral 1/29/2018
Coming home from the pub drunk a guy fancies giving his wife
oral sex before going to sleep, so he slowly and quietly
walks in to the bedroom. slips under the duvet from the bottom
of the bed and starts to lick the pussy. After a while she
starts moaning and wriggling like never before, eventually
she climaxes and he thinks to himself 'God I was good
tonight' Wanting to brush his teeth ...
1 Comments, 81 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
|
|
Do You Golf? 1/26/2018
A Minister, a Bishop and a Rabbi were playing golf, when
one of the caddys asked a question that got them thinking and how to respond.
"How do you decide what to give and what to keep....
? <br><br>
They answered this way it is the 10 / 10 / 100 percent rule...
This caused a big debate on how to apply it.... The Bishop
said I draw a circle inside a circle and stand outside this ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
I have a joke 1/25/2018
What do you call a joke you wear around your neck? <br><br>
A pundant!
2 Comments, 22 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
|
|
The Barber 1/24/2018
A guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asked: "How
long before I can get a haircut?" <br><br>
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and
said: "About 2 hours." <br><br>
The guy left. <br><br>
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and
asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?" ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
|
|
Athlete of the Year 1/20/2018
Not really a joke.. but it really is.. <br><br>
Did you hear about this athlete? <br><br>
He was so fast he won first and third place in a jack off contest!!! <br><br>
Lol. [ had to be a young man ]...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
|
|
Why doesn’t Santa Claus have ? 1/14/2018
He only comes once a year.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score
|
|
How Adam Got Eve 1/14/2018
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very
lly. <br><br>
So, God asked him, “What's wrong with you?” <br><br>
Adam said he didn't have any to talk to. <br><br>
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that
it would be a woman. <br><br>
He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she
will cook for ...
3 Comments, 66 Views,
13 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A PILOT TO FLY IN THE ROYAL AIR FORCE 1/12/2018
.... said their recruitment banner. <br><br>
So you can imagine my utter shock and indignation of being
forcibly frogmarched (at gunpoint no less!) from the cockpit
of one of their Euro-fighter Typhoons before I could work
out how to start the engine....
0 Comments, 36 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
|
|
Failing to stop for the police 1/11/2018
Driving home a man sees a police car behind him put on his
blue lights and he floors it, hoping to get away. His car
is fast but after a few miles realises he just isn't
going to shake his pursuer and finally yields. <br><br>
The police officer wearily walks over to the stopped vehicle
and tells the driver. "I've had a long day, there's
a mere 5 minutes before my ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
17 Votes
,6.10 Score
|
|
Pretty funny 1/9/2018
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket
and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" <br><br>
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk
to me?" she asked. <br><br>
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful
tits like yours, my wife appears out of ...
4 Comments, 60 Views,
15 Votes
,4.36 Score
|
|
A funny one 1/9/2018
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters
used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't
figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time
you became informed: <br><br>
A ... Almost Boobs B ... Barely there. C ... Can't Complain! D ... Damn! DD... Double damn! E ... Enormous! F ... Fake
2 Comments, 26 Views,
11 Votes
,3.17 Score
|
|
Humor for the day 1/9/2018
This morning I was beaten up by a big breasted woman in an
elevator. <br><br>
I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you
please press 1, please?" <br><br>
So I did. <br><br>
I don't remember much after that.
0 Comments, 25 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
|
|
Boob time 1/9/2018
I was telling a girl I met in a bar last night about my uncanny
ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling
her boobs. <br><br>
"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."
<br><br>
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
<br><br>
"Come on, " she demanded, "What day was
I born on?" ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
Size matters 1/5/2018
As I dropped my trousers and slid my boxers down she exclaimed
"Ere, ain't you got a small organ" <br><br>
I looked up at her, spread-eagled and without breaking
my stride replied "I didn't realise I was expected
to play in a Cathedral" <br><br>
-------- <br><br>
She asked "and who do you think you're going to
please with ...
2 Comments, 88 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
