|
How nice!! 8/13/2004
Here is a story about a southern bells have a sip tea one summer
afternoon.
Lets call them Betty and SueAnn.
<br>
Betty: You know SueAnn my husband just bought me a new diamond
ring, Do you like it??
<br>
Sue Ann: "HOW NICE" A few minutes later
<br>
Betty: You know SueAnn, my husband just bought me a new Lexus,
Do You like it??
<br>
...
1 Comments, 32 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
|
|
Preist joke 8/8/2004
A priest was giving confessions, when he had to go use the
restroom. He saw an alterboy and asked him to come and sit
in for him while he was gone. The priest told him to give as
many Hail Marys, or Our Father's as he thought was right
for the sin. Everything was going fine til a woman came in
and confessed to giving her husband a blow-job. The alterboy
didn't know what to tell the woman. ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
24 Votes
,4.83 Score
|
|
Seems innocent enough 8/6/2004
There were three defendants, the D.A. and a Judge. The judge
walks into the court room to start proceedings. Judge said
"O.k who is my first case?"
D.A. says " Miss Roxy Jay"
Judge "What is she charged with?"
Judge looks down and see the offense. His eyes raise slowly
Judge" Miss Jay you are charged with...." He
gets a confused look on his face "blowing bubbles
in the park????"
...
1 Comments, 163 Views,
6 Votes
|
|
Two Scotts stumble out of a bar... 7/30/2004
Two Scotts stumble out of a bar and see a sheep with it's
head stuck in a fence. One guy says to the other, "
I think I'll have a go at it!" When he's done,
he turns to his buddy and says, " Now it's your
turn!" So his friend shrugs his shoulders, drops
his pants and sticks his head in the fence!
1 Comments, 317 Views,
31 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
what's the difference between a blonde and a parrot? 7/10/2004
What is the difference between a blonde and a parrot?? You
can teach the parrot to talk, but you can't teach the
blonde to shut up!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
15 Votes
,4.36 Score
|
|
Pussy Humor 7/6/2004
Two robins were sitting in a tree.
"I'm really hungry, " said the first one.
"Let's fly down and find some lunch "
They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly
plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and
ate till they could eat no more "I m so full, I don't
think I can fly back up into the tree, " said the first
one. "Let's just lay back here and bask in ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
|
|
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD 7/1/2004
One night quite late little red was headed over to grandmas
house when her mother stoped her at the door. "where
do you think you're going? the big bad wolf is out and
do you know what he'll if he cathces you?" little
red pulled a gun out from her basket and showed it to her mom
then continued on her way. A little way down the road she
came accross the three little pigs. "what are you ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
31 Votes
,7.46 Score
|
|
Extra Large Condoms 6/30/2004
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if
he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around
here until someone does?
1 Comments, 24 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
|
|
The cucumber,pickle and the penis..... 6/27/2004
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around
talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber "Man,
my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me
up and stick me on a salad." The pickle looks at him
and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big,
fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me,
and stick me in a jar." The penis looks at him and ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
34 Votes
,7.37 Score
|
|
the lone ranger and tonto 6/18/2004
the Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian companion Tonto
were out riding range one day when the Indian jumped down
off his and put his ear to the ground and said Ugh, Kimosabe,
buffalo come!! The lone Ranger looked with amazement and
said, "Thats incredible Tonto, how'd you know
that?" the Indian replied---"My ear's
all sticky!!"
0 Comments, 104 Views,
18 Votes
,2.58 Score
|
|
motorcycles and vaseline 6/3/2004
this guy has always dreamed of owning a new motorcycle.
one day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down
to the dealer. after he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer
tells him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome
on his new bike free from rust.
<br>
the dealer tells him that all he has to do is to keep a jar of
vaseline handy and put it on the chrome ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
30 Votes
,7.55 Score
|
|
What Women Think 5/7/2004
A good looking young stud walks up to a women sitting at a
bar and leans over to her and says, I'll do anyhting
you want me to for 20 Bucks.
<br>
The Women, reaches into her purse and grabs a 20 dollar bill,
then looks deep into the young guy eyes, pressing the 20
into his hand and says....................Clean My House
0 Comments, 34 Views,
43 Votes
,8.53 Score
|
|
~~~Trouser Snake~~~ 4/22/2004
NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world DESCRIPTION: Varying
from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit.
Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on it's mood
and subspecies. SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly
women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous
bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating
pain ...
0 Comments, 434 Views,
78 Votes
,7.03 Score
|
|
snow plow 4/15/2004
How do you change a dish washer into a snow plow?
<br>
Give her a shovel.
<br>
Why don't women wear wrist watches?
<br>
There's a clock on the stove.
1 Comments, 92 Views,
18 Votes
,0.67 Score
|
|
3 Presidents 4/14/2004
An American is trying to come back from his vacation in Mexico,
when he realizes he’s lost all of his I.D.
He says to the Border Patrol officer, “I lost my passport,
but I have the presidents tattooed on my ass. Is that proof
enough that I’m and American?"
The guard agrees to take a look. After examining his tattoo’s,
the guard says, “Okay ...
2 Comments, 300 Views,
20 Votes
,3.76 Score
|
|
what's fuck'in? 4/13/2004
jr. comes home from school one day and says to his pa "pa
what's fuck'in?" pa says "jr. you
don't know what fuck'in is?" pa turns to
ma and says "ma, it's time we teach jr. bout fuck'in."
ma goes into the bedroom and takes off all her clothes and ...
1 Comments, 28 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
State Mottos 4/4/2004
State Mottos
<br>
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
<br>
Alaska: 11, 623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
<br>
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
<br>
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
<br>
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your
Honda
<br>
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
<br>
Connecticut: Like ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
28 Votes
,5.40 Score
|
|
why men snore 2/9/2004
Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall down over their asshole and they
get vapor locked.
1 Comments, 9 Views,
63 Votes
,4.14 Score
|
|
Tupperware 2/6/2004
Q: What do tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.
1 Comments, 6 Views,
20 Votes
,2.36 Score
|
|
Mother in law 2/6/2004
A man goes on holiday with his wife and mother in law to the
holy land, shortly after they arrive the mother in law dies.
In grief the man and his wife go to the undertaker to organise
the funeral. When they get there the undertaker explains
that they can have the body shipped home for a cost of $5000
or a very tasteful service could be done here for a cost of
$150.
"We'll ship her ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
26 Votes
,4.00 Score
|
|
nurse blowjobs 2/2/2004
why are nurses so bad at giving blow jobs?
<br>
they always wait for the swelling to go down.
1 Comments, 22 Views,
53 Votes
,6.61 Score
|
|
The Bar Celebration 2/2/2004
There was a guy who walked into his favorite bar, where he
knew the bar tender and vice versa. He said "Hey bartender
line me up 10 shots"; well since the bartender knew
him he lined him up 10 shots of his favorite drink. The guy
drinks one shot right after the other til they were all gone.
The bartender said to the guy "Hey what you celebrating?".
The guy replied "I got my first blow ...
1 Comments, 39 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
|
|
curb service 1/28/2004
There were two vice cops that heard about a new whorehouse
that had opened up. So they decided to check it out. It was
in an old three story building. One cop decided to stay with
the radio in case there was a problem. The other one went
in to check the building. They agreed that as the cop checked
each floor he would shine his flashlight out the window
to show that he was okay and the ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Is he dead? 1/28/2004
A 911 operator received a call from a very distraught man.
<br>
"Hello? Oh my God! We are out in the woods hunting and
Bob just collapsed. I... I think he's dead!"
the man exclaimed.
<br>
"Now sir, " the operator said. "Take
a few deep breaths and try to calm down. Now the first thing
we have to do is make sure Bob is really dead. Can you do that?"
<br>
"Yes, ...
1 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
The Shot slammer 1/26/2004
A guy was drinking at the bar and another guy comes up and
orders a shot and slams it down; then he orders another and
does the same thing; then another; and then another.......
Finally after 10 shots the slammer stops and pauses. The
first guy asks what caused the need to drink so much. The
slammer replied " got my first BJ to completion a little
while ago". The first guy said " Now that's ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
mayonaise 1/24/2004
Q: What's the difference between mayonaise ans sperm?
A: Mayonaise does't hit the back of your throat at 50mph.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
courious old man 1/17/2004
one day an eldery man was sitting on a park bench when a young
came up and sat down next to him, the eldery man
glanced over to notice the youngsters hair, it was multi-colored,
it was orange, red , blue, green, and yellow, the eldery
man kept staring at the youngsters hair. finally the youngster
got alittle aggrevated at the old mans staring and turned
to him and said "Look old man didn't ...
1 Comments, 37 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Bad joke from downunder 1/14/2004
There were a bunch of sheep herders hanging out with the
flock... One of the younger guys says he is really jonesing
for a screw. All the olders say just do it with one of the sheep.
The young guy considers the ideas, screws his courage and
goes off and selects a sheep and has a go... As he is screwing
all the older guys are laughing. After he is done the young
guys asks if they really ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
10 Votes
,1.79 Score
|
|
The Joke is on Us 1/12/2004
Seems that the joke is on us. Most of the females on this site
seem to be here for one thing, play games. They send you a
canned response to chat with them on their private e-mail
then they try and get you to go to a different site and join
up just to view some other photos they posted. Don't
think so? Try a little experement, the next time you respond
to someone and they reply back with a ...
1 Comments, 39 Views,
65 Votes
,8.00 Score
|
|
blond joke 12/31/2003
What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
<br>
Atleast when you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
|
