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Phasing out breast reduction 10/1/2003
A guy was looking at his wife undress before they went to
bed.
<br>
she was standing there naked and looked down and said "Iwished
my tits were bigger I should get implants".
<br>
The husband said "You don't need implants you
can make them bigger yourself, hold on".
<br>
He jumped, ran to the bathroom and came back with toilet
paper. she said "How will ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
40 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Your pussy is too big when 10/1/2003
A couple was getting ready to have sex. The wife gave the
husband a blow job, and then he started to go down on her.
<br>
"Damn you got a big pussy" Damn you got a big pussy.
<br>
She looked down angrily at him and said "You didn't
have to say it twice."
<br>
He said "I didn't."
1 Comments, 92 Views,
98 Votes
,6.82 Score
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True friends 10/1/2003
one day a wife was at home cleaning the house while her husband
Bob was out looking for a job.
<br>
The doorbell rings and she answers it. It is his best friend
Larry.
<br>
Hi she said "what can I do for you?"
<br>
Larry says "I heard Bob is looking for a job and you
guys need money right?" "So I thought you have
such a nice pair of tits I would pay $20 ...
1 Comments, 202 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score
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Grandchild helps his Grandparents 10/1/2003
Gramps is sitting on the porch one day watching his grandson
play with a worm he found in the yard.
<br>
Gramps walks over to the boy and says " Joe I'll
bet you $5 you can't make that worm go back in his hole."
<br>
Joe tried and tried but the worm kept curling up. Finally
Joe runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray.
He holds the worm and sprays ...
1 Comments, 107 Views,
50 Votes
,7.79 Score
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Viagra variations 9/30/2003
With VIAGRA such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole
line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance
of men in today's society..
<br>
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving
on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
<br>
PROJECTRA - Men given this ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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Chocolate better than sex! 9/30/2003
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
<br>
1 You can GET chocolate.
2 "If you love me you'll swallow that" has
real meaning with chocolate.
3 Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4 You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5 You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
5 You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
6 ...
1 Comments, 36 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Blond Handiwoman 9/21/2003
A blond handiwoman is going from door to door looking for
work. She knocks on a door and a husband and wife answer.
She asked if they had any jobs to be done. Husband says "the
porch needs painting.....How much?". Blond says
fifty dollars.usband says OK....the paint is in the garage.
The wife says to the husband "FIFTY DOLLARS??? I don't
think she knows how big the porch is!" Husband says ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
244 Votes
,6.77 Score
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Chocolate better than Sex 9/2/2003
<br>
<br>
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
<br>
1. You can GET chocolate.
<br>
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that"
has real meaning with chocolate.
<br>
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
<br>
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
<br>
5. ...
2 Comments, 49 Views,
34 Votes
,6.39 Score
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Golfing Buddies 8/7/2003
How do you know if your behind a group of homo-sexuals on
a golf course? When you yell fore they all drop their pants
and bend over.
1 Comments, 28 Views,
51 Votes
,0.46 Score
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Viagra 8/7/2003
1.Man goes to the doctor and asks for a Viagra to make his
wife happy.
2.Doctor recommends to take it one hour before an intercourse.
3.Man's wife usually comes from work at 6.PM
4.Man takes Viagra at 5:55 PM
5. Wife calls home at 6PM, to say that she will be home after
10 PM
6. Man calls the doctor asking what to do?
7. Doctor asks: "Don't you have any neighbor
to use that Viagra ...
2 Comments, 104 Views,
84 Votes
,6.87 Score
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Bar Bouncer 8/7/2003
How do you know if your in a homo-sexual bar? A bouncer throws
you out for farting.
1 Comments, 35 Views,
37 Votes
,0.45 Score
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Physical Examination 8/7/2003
How do you know if your Doctor is a homo-sexual?
<br>
He drops his pants and coughs.
1 Comments, 38 Views,
36 Votes
,0.91 Score
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Hurricane 6/20/2003
Why are women like a hurricane?
<br>
When they come they make a hell of a racket and when they leave
they take the house with them.
1 Comments, 14 Views,
87 Votes
,6.62 Score
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Total Rejection 5/28/2003
What is total rejection?
<br>
Thats when your jerking off and your hand fall asleep....
2 Comments, 80 Views,
93 Votes
,6.80 Score
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Alice limerick 3/31/2003
There once was a lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Dallas
2 Comments, 22 Views,
28 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Fellow from Kent 3/31/2003
There once was a fellow from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
So instead of cumming he went!
3 Comments, 33 Views,
18 Votes
,2.85 Score
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Gates 3/25/2003
"the Rich"
<br>
come to gates wreaking of wealth.
Peter enters choking out the words,
"smells like dirty laundry".
NO, that is impossible, I've always had the finest
or should I say, the cleaniness goods.
Peter replies, slow down boy, I was just needling.
1 Comments, 44 Views,
26 Votes
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Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
Musician:come to gates ringing the bell.
Peter:"don't do that, it's not time to
eat, besides,
we don't want the angels to hear you".
Musician play that bad?
Peter:"that bad, you were killing them down there,
man"!
1 Comments, 47 Views,
18 Votes
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Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Minister:comes to the gates calling out, "anybody
home"?
Peter:"nobody home, come back after the mail arrives".
Minister:when the mail arrives?
Peter:"yes, when the mail arrives"?
Minister no, let me explain?
Peter:"send your explanation to the Lord, you can
...
1 Comments, 27 Views,
16 Votes
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Gotta take a shit first 3/19/2003
A man is on a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles. As they take
off, the captain comes on the P.A. system and says "This
is your captain John Smith speaking. I'd like to take
the time to thank you for flying Air Canada, flight 666 from
Toronto to Los Angeles. We will be flying at 35, 000 feet
with an air speed of 650 miles per hour. If any of you have
further questions about the flight, just ...
1 Comments, 233 Views,
64 Votes
,6.99 Score
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MEN & WOMEN 3/17/2003
Why do MEN walk more and WOMEN talk more ???????
GUESS???? GUESS WHY ????? It is realy easy !!!!! Because
MEN have THREE legs and WOMEN have FOUR lips.
1 Comments, 57 Views,
48 Votes
,4.62 Score
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Nuns Vacation 3/15/2003
Three nuns preparing for an outside mission were told by
the preist that they must first purify themselves if they
had touched any private parts of a man by washing their hands
in the holy water. The first shyly walked up and washed her
fingers in the water and said "it was just once"
the preist asked the second to proceed when all of the sudden
the third pushed her out of the way and ran ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
41 Votes
,7.00 Score
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First Blow Job 3/14/2003
Fellow walks into a bar, sits down and demands of the bartender,
" Joe, gimme two shots of Jack Daniels."
Joe pours the shots and the customer drinks them.
"Joe, gimme two more shots, and hurry!"
Joe pours two more and says, "Gee, Tom you usually
only drink beer."
Tom replies, "Yeah, that's right but I need two
more shots. FAST!!"
Joe pours the next two and asks, " Well why the ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
67 Votes
,4.86 Score
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teddy bears 3/12/2003
An attractive woman is sitting in a bar when she sees a man
she just has to meet. She signals the waitress and buys him
a beer. The man joins her and they start talking. One thing
leads to another and the next thing she knows she is in his
apartment and things are getting steamy. They head for
the bedroom and she gets the shock of her life. The room is
FILLED with teddy bears. Big ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
29 Votes
,6.05 Score
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worms 3/11/2003
Little Tommy was playing with an earthworm in the back of
his grandparents' house. Grandpa comes out and watches
him for a while. Then he says, "Tommy, I bet ya five
dollars you can't get that worm to go back in the hole."
Tommy thinks for a minute, then goes in to the house. He comes
out a minute later with Grandma's hairspray. He holds
the worm by one end, sprays it with hairspray, ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
16 Votes
,4.30 Score
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understanding women 3/11/2003
A man is shipwrecked on a desert island, and walks the beach
every morining to see is anything useful has washed up.
One morning he finds a lamp. He figures what the hell, and
sure enough, when he rubs it out pops the genie. "I
will grant your wish, oh Master", says the genie.
The man thinks for a bit, then says, "Ya know, I have
been here for a couple of years, and this island is not ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
52 Votes
,8.41 Score
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two drunks 3/9/2003
two drunks are sitting outside of a bar without the price
of a drink between them. one has an idea..."lets get
a hotdog, i will put it down my pants, and when the bartender
tells us the price, you drop to your knees, pull out the hotdog,
and pretend to give me a blowjob. we'll get thrown out
for queers!" the other drunk agrees and they go to
the first bar. the first drunk orders two ...
1 Comments, 42 Views,
26 Votes
,5.61 Score
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Truck Driver 3/7/2003
A truck driver walked into a house in Vegas , he put
$1000.00 down and told the madam he wanted a meanest, nastyest
fatest , in the place, the madan said mister for a thousand
you can have the best looking woman in the house, he said
mam you dont understand im not horny im homesick!!
1 Comments, 97 Views,
87 Votes
,7.26 Score
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taxidermist 2/24/2003
There was a taxidermist who was the only survivor of a plane
crash in the midddle of the Australian outback. He wandered
for days, with no food or water to sustain him. Finally,
by chance, he came upon a pub in the middle of nowhere. He
runs in and orders a tall glass of milk. The guys all look
at him and one growls, "Milk...what kind of drink is that
for a man. Just what in the hell ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
10 Votes
,4.78 Score
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High wires and old women 2/4/2003
On one side of the world there is a man walking on a tightrope
over a 4, 000 ft. deep gorge. At the same time on the other
side of the world, a man is getting a blowjob from an 85 year
old woman with no teeth.
What is going through both of their minds at the same time?
<br>
DON'T LOOK DOWN !!!!!
1 Comments, 77 Views,
43 Votes
,5.96 Score
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